Dad is looking for something in the kitchen while i'm making dinner. He finds what he's looking for and quietly goes and sits in his rocking chair and turns on the news. After a few minutes of watching he turns to me and says:
Dad: You need to put sugar in the canister. It's running low.
Me: Ok, I will.
Dad: Your haldi (tumerac) is also running low. You should add some.
Me: Uh huh, I will.
Dad: Do you know what Sundays are for?
Me: Um, doing weekend things before going back to work on Monday?
Dad: No, Sundays and weekend are for cleaning the house and making sure everything is 'tight fight'
Me: They're for what?
Dad: Cleaning--
Me: No, I got that part. What was the last part you said?
Dad: You know, tight fight (in punjabi). Like put everything in order for the week. You know, check and make sure there is enough tea in the cannister. You have to make sure everything is tight fight (in english).
Me:Dad, don't say that to people. Tight fight is not the right translation (laughing). Say ship shape.
Dad: Like tip top? tip top shape?
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Indian Etiquette
My Dad has a few standard questions that he'll ask all of my friends--everytime he sees them or talks to them. It doesn't matter what the circumstances are (they're on the phone, they're at the door waiting for me, they're sitting chatting). They're also the same questions (how are you, how are your parents, how is school/job) and they all end with tell your Mum and Dad I say hello. I have no idea why but almost every Indian parent I know asks/says the same thing. The following is what happened a few nights ago when one of my friends called.
Phone rings (I don't hear it because i'm outside taking out the trash). Dad has just gone to bed but is awake enough to hear and answer the phone.
Dad: Hullo *(sounds like he has been sleeping)*
T: " Hello Uncle! How are you?" *(my friend calls him Uncle)*
Dad: "Hello, not too bad, ki haal hai"? *translation: How are you*
T: "Not too bad uncle, Is Mikki home?"
Uncle: "I dont know if she is home, maybe or maybe not, I am sleeping so I dont know."
T: "Oh sorry uncle, sorry to wake you up! Its okay I'll try her cell again."
*she's about to hang up because he just said he was sleeping*
Uncle: "So how are your parents, mom and dad?"
T: *"Oh uncle, they are good" *Thinking...uhh...uncle arent you sleeping?*Uncle: "good, good. How's the job going?"
T: "Um Uncle, weren't you sleeping? Don't worry, I'll talk to you later. Sorry for bothering you"
Dad: *Speaking quickly* Ok, tell your mom Dad hi. Bye
T: Bye
Phone rings (I don't hear it because i'm outside taking out the trash). Dad has just gone to bed but is awake enough to hear and answer the phone.
Dad: Hullo *(sounds like he has been sleeping)*
T: " Hello Uncle! How are you?" *(my friend calls him Uncle)*
Dad: "Hello, not too bad, ki haal hai"? *translation: How are you*
T: "Not too bad uncle, Is Mikki home?"
Uncle: "I dont know if she is home, maybe or maybe not, I am sleeping so I dont know."
T: "Oh sorry uncle, sorry to wake you up! Its okay I'll try her cell again."
*she's about to hang up because he just said he was sleeping*
Uncle: "So how are your parents, mom and dad?"
T: *"Oh uncle, they are good" *Thinking...uhh...uncle arent you sleeping?*Uncle: "good, good. How's the job going?"
T: "Um Uncle, weren't you sleeping? Don't worry, I'll talk to you later. Sorry for bothering you"
Dad: *Speaking quickly* Ok, tell your mom Dad hi. Bye
T: Bye
Cheating
Dad: So, I gave your cousin $120 today
Me: For her birthday (thinking wow, he was generous this year)
Dad: No, $20 for her birthday and a $100 because she got 90% on her report card
Me: Oh yeah, she told me she got 90% in co-op
Dad: What, in coop? She cheated. She has to give me the money back--give me the phone I'm going to call her so she doesn't spend it.
Me: DAD, how did she cheat?
Dad: Coop. That's why. That's not a class.
Me:LOL. Dad, that is a class--
Dad: NO, that's cheating. I only give $100 to getting 90 or above in Math, Science....& English. That's it. Not in waste classes.
Me: Dad, that's not a waste class. She could be falling asleep during her co op or not listening to her supervisor. They hired her part time in the bank--banks wouldn't just do that to anyone.
Dad: Fine, this time I won't take it back. But, i'm going to call her and tell her next time, no cheating, i'm only paying for those 3 classes and maybe history.
Me: For her birthday (thinking wow, he was generous this year)
Dad: No, $20 for her birthday and a $100 because she got 90% on her report card
Me: Oh yeah, she told me she got 90% in co-op
Dad: What, in coop? She cheated. She has to give me the money back--give me the phone I'm going to call her so she doesn't spend it.
Me: DAD, how did she cheat?
Dad: Coop. That's why. That's not a class.
Me:LOL. Dad, that is a class--
Dad: NO, that's cheating. I only give $100 to getting 90 or above in Math, Science....& English. That's it. Not in waste classes.
Me: Dad, that's not a waste class. She could be falling asleep during her co op or not listening to her supervisor. They hired her part time in the bank--banks wouldn't just do that to anyone.
Dad: Fine, this time I won't take it back. But, i'm going to call her and tell her next time, no cheating, i'm only paying for those 3 classes and maybe history.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Why my glasses are important....
Dad: Mikki, pass me the portable phone. We should call your aunt in India, she hasn't called in a while. She's so cheap
**I'm thinking she's not the only one who is cheap**
**Dad is moving papers looking for something**
Me: Dad, what are you looking for?
Dad: My glasses. I don't want the cops to come again
Me: The cops? Why would the cops come if you're calling auntie and what do your glasses have to do with it?
Dad: The last time I called without my glasses I accidently dialed 911. When I told them it was a mistake and I was trying to dial 011 they wouldn't believe me. You don't remember this?
Me: **laughing** Um, no, I don't.
Dad: Yeah, I told them you guys weren't home and that I was by myself. They wanted to search the house. I said fine, and told them i'd wait outside on the patio for them. You know, they should make the phones better. I don't know why they put the 0 so close to the 9 and if they're going to do that then they should make the numbers bigger. Even I know that some people can't see that well and I didn't go to University.
Me: Yeah, I don't know why they don't make the numbers bigger. Give me the phone and i'll dial the number.
**I'm thinking she's not the only one who is cheap**
**Dad is moving papers looking for something**
Me: Dad, what are you looking for?
Dad: My glasses. I don't want the cops to come again
Me: The cops? Why would the cops come if you're calling auntie and what do your glasses have to do with it?
Dad: The last time I called without my glasses I accidently dialed 911. When I told them it was a mistake and I was trying to dial 011 they wouldn't believe me. You don't remember this?
Me: **laughing** Um, no, I don't.
Dad: Yeah, I told them you guys weren't home and that I was by myself. They wanted to search the house. I said fine, and told them i'd wait outside on the patio for them. You know, they should make the phones better. I don't know why they put the 0 so close to the 9 and if they're going to do that then they should make the numbers bigger. Even I know that some people can't see that well and I didn't go to University.
Me: Yeah, I don't know why they don't make the numbers bigger. Give me the phone and i'll dial the number.
Make a Sign
Real conversation with my Dad the other night:
Dad: Mikki, can you make a sign for me
**I get a pen and paper and assume it's going to be something for his business (really, I did)**
Me: Ok, what do you want me to write
Dad: (in a completely serious voice in English) Clean room or don't sleep here
Me: What, you want me to write what?
Dad: Clean ... clean THE room or don't sleep here
**I am trying to keep a straight face and am writing**
Dad: Put it on your brothers door. On the outside. It's like a pig room.
Me: Um,I think you mean pig sty. Dad why don't you just tell him to clean his room? Isn't that more effective?
Dad: I already told him. He has to listen to the sign because it to get out if you don't clean your room
....and two seconds later...
Dad: Your brother works so hard...he's going to school AND he's working....school comes first I keep telling him that...
Me: Maybe he's studying too much and doesn't have time to clean his room (Secretly rolling my eyes)
Dad: No, make the sign. Make sure you write what I said. Tape it to the door.
Dad: Mikki, can you make a sign for me
**I get a pen and paper and assume it's going to be something for his business (really, I did)**
Me: Ok, what do you want me to write
Dad: (in a completely serious voice in English) Clean room or don't sleep here
Me: What, you want me to write what?
Dad: Clean ... clean THE room or don't sleep here
**I am trying to keep a straight face and am writing**
Dad: Put it on your brothers door. On the outside. It's like a pig room.
Me: Um,I think you mean pig sty. Dad why don't you just tell him to clean his room? Isn't that more effective?
Dad: I already told him. He has to listen to the sign because it to get out if you don't clean your room
....and two seconds later...
Dad: Your brother works so hard...he's going to school AND he's working....school comes first I keep telling him that...
Me: Maybe he's studying too much and doesn't have time to clean his room (Secretly rolling my eyes)
Dad: No, make the sign. Make sure you write what I said. Tape it to the door.
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