My teacher said not to tell anyone my password

So, my dad decided to take computer lessons with his friends so that he could learn to type and do 'paperwork' on the computer. He wanted to get the most out of his money so he asked to borrow my laptop so that he could practice during the day. After putting a password on my account (it's safer for everyone that way), I made him his own account. One day I came downstairs and saw that he was clearly upset because the computer wasn't cooperating. I decided i'd bite and ask him what was wrong.

Dad: I can't log into my email
Me: Do you have the caps lock on?
Dad: I know that button. It makes the letters big. No, it's not on.
Me: Type it again, maybe you spelled it wrong
(Dad types with ONE finger...lol...so it takes some time...and still doesn't work)
Me: Here, I'll log you into your email
Dad: No. I'm not telling you my password
Me: Dad, really? Like i'm going to go and read your emails
Dad: No, my teacher said never tell anyone your password
Me: Dad, you can't log in. Just let me type it in for you.
Dad: No, i'm not telling you. I'm going to get it.

He carries on and after another 5 tries is able to log in. I leave him alone to check his email and do his thing. I come back a few hours later to check my email. My Dad was practicing emailing and typing by sending us all emails so I had one from him. As I was reading my emails I noticed that there were a whole bunch of papers on the table with my Dad's writing on them. Leaning closer I realized that I was staring at the email that my Dad had sent me...and my brother...and my sister. My Dad had actually written outall his emails on paper before typing them! Lol. And he was worried about giving me his password!

The Radio

My Dad loves to listen to the radio but only the news talk type of stations. He will frequently tell me, my siblings, extended family and my friends news/stories that he has heard that relates to them. For example, one of my friends is a teacher so when she came over he told her all about the kid that got caught making a bomb. This story wasn't relevant for her because he got caught making it in school but my Dad thought she should know because as a teacher she needs to know what to teach kids in school (don't make bombs because that is bad).

Anyways, one day I came home from work and he goes to me:

Dad: Guess what I heard on the Indian radio today?
Me: *rolling my eyes* I don't know, what?
Dad: A new way of washing dishes.
Me: ok, let me guess, a new way to conserve water?
Dad: No, to make a sponge from the bags that onions come in. The netting on them works perfectly to wash the dishes. Look on the counter...I made you some to use.
Me: Looking on the counter....
Dad: Now we don't have to waste the onion bags or money on dish sponges.

I've attached a picture because i'm sure if you didn't see it, you wouldn't believe it!

I can....fax!

My Dad decided this year to learn how to use a computer. He doesn't necessarily get how to use technology (especially if it goes beyond the power on and power off cateogry). It's so bad that he had to write down the steps from changing the tv from dvd to tv (and then the steps to playing a dvd in a 5 player system). Knowing his history with technology I was happy when he decided to learn how to use a computer from someone outside the family. Here is a conversation from day 1 of learning how to use the computer.

Me: Dad, did you learn a lot today?
Dad: (who is very excited) Yes, I learned how to ...
Me: Turn a computer on and off?
Dad: Yes, that and I also learned how to.... ( he can't think of the word)
Me: Learned how to... type?
Dad: Yes, but i'm not fast like you.
Me: See, Dad, that's what University taught me **not, that's what msn taught me**
Dad: I can learn, I just need to practice. I know what I learned. I learned how to get the fax out of the computer.
Me: LOL, Dad, you don't get faxes out of a computer. You mean you learned how to print something.

What Sunday is for...

Dad is looking for something in the kitchen while i'm making dinner. He finds what he's looking for and quietly goes and sits in his rocking chair and turns on the news. After a few minutes of watching he turns to me and says:

Dad: You need to put sugar in the canister. It's running low.
Me: Ok, I will.
Dad: Your haldi (tumerac) is also running low. You should add some.
Me: Uh huh, I will.
Dad: Do you know what Sundays are for?
Me: Um, doing weekend things before going back to work on Monday?
Dad: No, Sundays and weekend are for cleaning the house and making sure everything is 'tight fight'
Me: They're for what?
Dad: Cleaning--
Me: No, I got that part. What was the last part you said?
Dad: You know, tight fight (in punjabi). Like put everything in order for the week. You know, check and make sure there is enough tea in the cannister. You have to make sure everything is tight fight (in english).
Me:Dad, don't say that to people. Tight fight is not the right translation (laughing). Say ship shape.
Dad: Like tip top? tip top shape?

Indian Etiquette

My Dad has a few standard questions that he'll ask all of my friends--everytime he sees them or talks to them. It doesn't matter what the circumstances are (they're on the phone, they're at the door waiting for me, they're sitting chatting). They're also the same questions (how are you, how are your parents, how is school/job) and they all end with tell your Mum and Dad I say hello. I have no idea why but almost every Indian parent I know asks/says the same thing. The following is what happened a few nights ago when one of my friends called.

Phone rings (I don't hear it because i'm outside taking out the trash). Dad has just gone to bed but is awake enough to hear and answer the phone.

Dad: Hullo *(sounds like he has been sleeping)*

T: " Hello Uncle! How are you?" *(my friend calls him Uncle)*

Dad: "Hello, not too bad, ki haal hai"? *translation: How are you*

T: "Not too bad uncle, Is Mikki home?"

Uncle: "I dont know if she is home, maybe or maybe not, I am sleeping so I dont know."

T: "Oh sorry uncle, sorry to wake you up! Its okay I'll try her cell again."
*she's about to hang up because he just said he was sleeping*

Uncle: "So how are your parents, mom and dad?"

T: *"Oh uncle, they are good" *Thinking...uhh...uncle arent you sleeping?*Uncle: "good, good. How's the job going?"

T: "Um Uncle, weren't you sleeping? Don't worry, I'll talk to you later. Sorry for bothering you"

Dad: *Speaking quickly* Ok, tell your mom Dad hi. Bye

T: Bye

Cheating

Dad: So, I gave your cousin $120 today

Me: For her birthday (thinking wow, he was generous this year)

Dad: No, $20 for her birthday and a $100 because she got 90% on her report card

Me: Oh yeah, she told me she got 90% in co-op

Dad: What, in coop? She cheated. She has to give me the money back--give me the phone I'm going to call her so she doesn't spend it.

Me: DAD, how did she cheat?

Dad: Coop. That's why. That's not a class.

Me:LOL. Dad, that is a class--

Dad: NO, that's cheating. I only give $100 to getting 90 or above in Math, Science....& English. That's it. Not in waste classes.

Me: Dad, that's not a waste class. She could be falling asleep during her co op or not listening to her supervisor. They hired her part time in the bank--banks wouldn't just do that to anyone.

Dad: Fine, this time I won't take it back. But, i'm going to call her and tell her next time, no cheating, i'm only paying for those 3 classes and maybe history.

Why my glasses are important....

Dad: Mikki, pass me the portable phone. We should call your aunt in India, she hasn't called in a while. She's so cheap

**I'm thinking she's not the only one who is cheap**

**Dad is moving papers looking for something**

Me: Dad, what are you looking for?

Dad: My glasses. I don't want the cops to come again

Me: The cops? Why would the cops come if you're calling auntie and what do your glasses have to do with it?

Dad: The last time I called without my glasses I accidently dialed 911. When I told them it was a mistake and I was trying to dial 011 they wouldn't believe me. You don't remember this?

Me: **laughing** Um, no, I don't.

Dad: Yeah, I told them you guys weren't home and that I was by myself. They wanted to search the house. I said fine, and told them i'd wait outside on the patio for them. You know, they should make the phones better. I don't know why they put the 0 so close to the 9 and if they're going to do that then they should make the numbers bigger. Even I know that some people can't see that well and I didn't go to University.

Me: Yeah, I don't know why they don't make the numbers bigger. Give me the phone and i'll dial the number.